1- Make your wish then move on
You’ve finally decided you want to wish for something, what do you do next? You make your wish in what ever form suits you (eg on a star, with a collage, chicken wish bone, your local faerygodmother etc) then you move on. By moving on I mean you get on with your life. You don’t obsess about the wish, or wonder exactly how it’s going to come true or when or if or any other form of picking at it. You just let the wish go to do it’s own thing, trusting that, having made the wish you have done at least part of your bit. It’s actually really important that you move on from the wish making stage or you get stuck there, stuck in the mindset that led you to make your wish in the first place.
2- Next comes the hard work
Having made your wish you have to live as if that wish were going to come true. Have you wished for a dream job? Start applying for it or getting the courses you need under your belt to do it. Wished you could be a successful writer/ artist/ photographer etc? Well, start writing or painting or taking photos etc. You can’t be successful at something you haven’t even started yet. If you have started keep doing what you’re doing and learn to get better at it. Have you wished for new love? Work on yourself and your own issues till you are a person who can see yourself being loved be the person you want to love you. Whatever your wish, you have to be the one who puts in the hard work to accomplish it, you have to do something to open up the space in your life to allow it to happen. Couch potatoes don’t get to be astronauts until they’ve seriously put in some hours at the gym.
3- Make sure you really want it
What will achieving your wish cost you? Do you want a super successful career as a top level CEO? Are you prepared to sacrifice time with your family and loved ones for that, working 90 hours a week with that sort of responsibility on your shoulders? Is your wish really something that you think you should want because it’s expected of you? Do you wish for a relationship but deep down inside think that your own company is just fine and that you are rather happy, if somewhat lonely, on your own. A relationship isn’t something you do to fill up loneliness, but that’s a whole other subject. Making a wish is a powerful signal to the universe that you want something to change. If you don’t really want your life to change then don’t make any wishes.
4- Put some thought into what needs to change
Speaking of change, that’s exactly what wishing is. Saying out loud you want things to be different. It’s important that you devote some time and energy to what exactly those changes mean. That dream job may only be available somewhere far from your family and loved ones. Or getting it might mean having to lose your partners job so he or she can be with you. If it’s love you wished for then what needs to change about yourself to allow that love in? Are you ready for a new relationship or are you still clinging to the shards of a broken one? If you wished you were fit and healthy then it stands to reason to get your wish you have to change your diet and exercise habits.
5- You can’t control the timing
Usually when we make a wish, the subject of the wish is of pressing importance to us. We want it to come true now. But, if you wish for love, what if the right person for you isn’t available at the moment? What if he or she is simply not ready for a relationship or with someone else or learning lessons that are important to both of your long term happiness? You could always settle for someone else but that would defeat the purpose of the wish wouldn’t it. Same goes for dream jobs. What if someone else has the right job for you at this moment in time. Sometimes we just have to wait until everything is ready for our chance. The Universe has a much bigger perspective then we do and can see where to slot us in. “Oh yes, I have an opening for a dream job next Thursday, can you wait?” None of us are going to say, “No I need it by tomorrow or I don’t want it.”
6- Don’t make a wish about someone else that you wouldn’t want someone else to make about you
This one is a doosy and applies especially to relationship/ love wishes. Don’t wish for a specific person to love you. Think of how you would feel if someone out there was wishing you would fall in love with them even if you didn’t want to. This is where the number one Golden Rule applies. Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. It’s not a nice or comfortable feeling to be the object of someone else’s obsession, even if you aren’t aware of it. This also applies to wishing for the downfall of others, wishing they’d get their comeuppance (no matter how much they deserve it), wishing they’d go away etc. Be nice. Hold a mirror up to your wish and see if you are comfortable about someone wishing that on you. If the answer is yes then proceed joyously. If it’s not then it may be time to look deeper into why you would want to wish that.
7- Readjust your expectations
Just to bring up our couch potato astronaut again, some wishes are seriously unrealistic. Don’t be surprised when you and all of the other millions of people don’t win the Lotto. That’s a lot of wishes vying for one small trophy. Same goes with relationships. If you want a handsome, successful, rich, generous, family oriented, committed, romantic, down to earth, (etc etc) man then don’t be surprised if you don’t meet him till you’re 90. There aren’t too many of the rare ones going around (that’s why they are rare). If you want to be happy in a relationship readjust what exactly it will take to make you happy? Is it more important that he’s rich or handsome? What about romantic vs down to earth? Romantic men tend to not be quite so good with DIY- he may not be able to fix your taps but he’ll have some lovely poetry about the sound of their dripping. The more realistic you can be about your wish, the easier it will come to you.
8- Be careful what you wish for
Wishes are notoriously tricky things. There’s a reason they figure the way they do in stories. Say you did write a laundry list of qualities you absolutely had to have in a man (or woman) and, miracle of miracles, you met and fell in love with a person who embodied them all. We can never think of everything before hand, so there will undoubtedly be something you didn’t see coming. Say you got Mr Perfect as described above, but forgot to include getting on with his mother. Yep. You guessed it. Mr Perfect comes with Mother in law from hell. Or dream job gets landed at your feet, oops, forgot to include the bit about working for someone worth working for. Turns out the job is fantastic and everything you hoped for, but, it comes with a nightmare boss, or commute to work, or a junior who has a crush on you. You get the idea. Wishes always come with a price and a lesson to learn. Just because this is the way of things doesn’t mean you should not wish or aim for your highest ideals. After all, the other option is to stay stuck and unfulfilled.
9- Know yourself
The best wishes come from a place, deep inside yourself, that is serene and secure. Wishes made from the surface, from a place of being afraid of being left behind, or unloved or insecure tend to backfire. The better you know yourself. The happier you are with who you are right now, the better your wishes comes true. The more magical and amazing their appearance, and the more fulfilling they will be. So, before you make any wishes really, really know yourself. Ask yourself the hard questions like, why aren’t I in a happy relationship now? Do I want too much? Am I capable of giving to someone else what I wish they would give to me? Am I in the right place emotionally? Do I need to work on my issues? Why don’t I have the right job? Have I gone down the wrong path or followed a path that no longer fulfils me? Know thyself is the first step to just about anything spiritual and it is certainly at the start of any journey into wishing.
10- Some things just aren’t meant to be
Some of our noblest wishes are for others. I wish they were well. Or I wish they could find happiness. Or I wish that persons misfortunes would come to an end. But sometimes that’s simply not what destiny has in mind. Sometimes we have to let go of our wishes because there is a reason why they can’t come true. We can’t always see these reasons from where we are at. That’s what makes not getting a wish hard to deal with. But sometimes we simply have to trust that things happen for a reason and that we aren’t privy to all those reasons. This holds especially true when we wish someone would feel about us the way we feel about them. 99% of the time it’s to do with their issues, not ours. So, if you don’t get your wish, go back to the start of this list. Move on. There are more wishes out there. More paths to a fulfilling life. And, when it comes down to it, some things in life are simply sad. We can’t gloss over the fact that there are some crappy things about life. Like being sick. Or losing a job. Or losing a friend. We only experience joy because we have something to compare it too. Sadness. Being sad isn’t bad, in and of itself. Losing yourself in sadness is. The single best thing to wish for? Healing the self. All things are possible for a person who is whole, in and of themselves.